The last time I wrote anything for my birthday was in my final year of medical school and that’s already half a decade ago. So here goes, nothing…
Dear Kofi,
Life has just been life. You still do not have a favourite colour.
You fulfilled some part of that childhood dream. You’re a doctor, but not the surgeon you thought you’d be. Kofi, you’re somewhat adventurous. You spent a year in Berekum (so many kilometers from home) saving lives. Even though surgery comes easier to you, somewhere along the line you realized you were more of a physician than a surgeon. And I love that you made that discovery.
Last year you took a risk. Maybe the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Your mother thinks you’re so brave, and I agree. You packed your bags and left your country. It’s been one hell of a ride — from trying to master a new language (that isn’t French, who would have thought?), making friends to fighting the loneliness you occasionally feel. And it’s odd, because you never feel lonely. Not even when you lived alone in Accra and had your own space. But maybe this comes with age and being several miles away from people you call home could be a reason.
Five years ago you were sure you were in love with someone. It didn’t work out, and it wasn’t the saddest story ever. The previous 2 or so years were spent on a relationship you wouldn’t approve. But it was such a ride, and you’d do it all over again, in a heartbeat with no regrets whatsoever. You’re currently not in love, but you really like someone and you can’t get their smirk out of your mind. But life has always been sad and terrible with timing so you really don’t know.
Your mum still thinks you’re kidding when you say you don’t want to get married. How brave of you to decide that you’re not one to please society with your life choices (and that society even though would be fine can choke). Kofi, do you worry about being alone when you get older? Do you wonder how life at 60 would seem like for you?
How would you find the time and luxury to break down when your world feels heavy? Kofi, life will always happen and there will always be something that needs attention. Find time to catch your breath, regardless.
This year you’ve decided to share a part of your life with certain people you love dearly. And I’m really proud of you for this choice.
A pending exam somehow scares the shit out of you! But you’re not known to panic because of exams, so again you don’t know.
Oh and alcohol! You no longer drink red wine when you’re sad. It’s white wine for every emotion — glee, heaviness, everything. You still think whoever discovered apple juice is a genius (and God bless their ever inventive soul!)
And you grew your hair out for like 6 or so months and you loved every bit of that length. Then you hated it, so you cut it off!
You’ve been thinking a lot of the past lately. How at 13 or so your local church failed you. You’ve always been strong-willed, because how could you at that age decide to rather focus on what mattered?
You are always reminded of God’s love! You still are yet to master the art of surrendering all your insecurities and inadequacies to him. And while you feel ever so blessed and lucky, you’ve learnt to accept that you are worthy. Worthy of every space you occupy. Worthy of love, and everything else. Because you deserve it. I love you, Kofi and thank you for being ever ambitious and for always remembering to dream.
But how’s your heart today? Is it heavy, Kofi?
Poetry 